Candle

I am a candle
Though my size is small
My functions are big
My uses are many
Though I always be people's second choice
They look for me only when there is no electricity, when the light betrays their trusts
It's okay, at least I can feel like I'm important for a while
I can feel like I'm needed, like finally
I've been waiting for a long time to shine
I hope the electricity will go not only for a moment
Because only in the dark, I see people lie their hopes on me
I'm touched, I'm proud, I promise you all I won't be disappointing
I can beat the darkness and glow

I am a candle
I'm made of wax
I must pass so much burning to get my solid body
Eventually, I must pass so much burning, again, to eliminate its solidity
I'm embedded by a wick to which people will set fire to
This wick of mine will be a medium to melt my flesh and bones using the flame it produces
Till I don't have any proper shapes
It's okay, my whole body is destroyed by the smallest part of mine, though
It's okay, I'm burnt via a self-sustaining process, though
It's okay, I'm strong

I am a candle to lighten everyone's darkness with my glimmers
Though I have to be ignited to do my duty
I will be happy

I am a candle to warm everyone even just a little from the coldness
Though the fire gets stronger to increase the heat and my body gets shortened as the risk
I will be in a bliss

I am a candle to help everyone to feel relaxed through my scent
Though liquefied fuels of my burned body keep vaporizing to grill me within every space of my organs
I will be glad

My liquids flow massively on narrow wards of my skin
Those liquids may make me look like I'm crying
It's okay, just consider them as my happy tears
Don't ever you try to stop my tears using your fingers
They will make those slender fingers of yours hurt and burnt
They will leave red marks or even scorches that, unfortunately, can't be completely healed

The steady burning on my body doesn't produce any smokes
This means I'm not complaining, I can bear those incredible pains
My wick is slowly consumed by the flame
My body is getting shorter and shorter as I grow older
In any minutes, the wick will make a curve, bend, and be completely used up
In any minutes, the flame will be extinguished naturally
In any minutes, only a few of my melted figure will remain
In any minutes, I will be replaced by another candle
In any minutes, my presence will be a memory, only
Will people recall my merits when I'm no longer there to perform my jobs?
What I'm thinking about? I'm only a candle, I'll be easily forgotten after being used

I only live for a short term
But I am still grateful since I can be useful for others
Though I will die in the end
Though I have to go through so many miseries
Though people won't thank me after what I've done to them
At least I can feel how it is like to be a hero for many people when I emit 

*****

God, I don't wanna be useless

Please let me be a candle for everyone around me...

... for my surroundings

... for many people

... for the place I always step my feet on

... for the place I live in

I wanna serve, You especially

I wanna dedicate my life under Your beautiful light

Though it won't be as easy as flipping my palms

Though it will hurt every inch of my body and my soul

I will be a candle that's gonna handle all the pains with my all, with your support

I will be a tough candle as long as You are my chandelier.



Image via weheartit

Daddy's Little Girl

On a moving bus, there was a little girl around 5 years old sitting on her father's lap happily. The bus was a bit crowded and the air conditioner felt hot. That little girl started to nag a lot to her father, "Dad, it's very hot here. My head hurts." Her father replied lovingly, "Be patient sweetheart, we will arrive soon." He then stood up on the bus, carried his daughter, asked her daughter to look at the window and enjoy the scenery outside which was not that interesting. But, I didn't know what magic the father had, he could soothe her daughter with his words while caressing her back. He started to hum his daughter some songs and they sang together. His voice was so tender while his daughter's voice is a bit noisy. I guessed some passengers got annoyed since some of them were sleeping. I usually got annoyed too when there was a noisy-whiny child in a public transportation. Like, "Oh dear sweet little child, can't you stay calm or go sleep instead?" LOL. But, at that time I didn't know I really enjoyed the father-and-daughter scene. It was so sweet and cute, indeed.

After singing some songs, his daughter got bored. He stroked her hair and began a new method, he taught her daughter letters and numbers. They counted the numbers and spelled the letters together. When the daughter made a mistake, the father immediately told her and corrected the mistake so the daughter wouldn't repeat her mistake. I couldn't help but smiling after hearing them. Since they sat across me, I had to turn my head to my left side to look at them. And snap, they caught me when I was looking at them admiringly. I immediately wanted to turn my head back and pretended that I looked at them accidentally. But, the father asked her daughter to wave her little hand and say hi to me. God, what could be cuter? I replied them with a slight smile. I closed my eyes after that and acted like I wanted to go sleep. I closed my eyes and still hearing them. I closed my eyes and still smiling hearing their words while imagining the actions they did. I closed my eyes while reminiscing my past, trying to remember my childhood memories. Did my father treat me like this too when I was a child? I didn't know, I couldn't really recall my past. The only thing I could remember was he carried me around a lot when I was a baby till I was a 5-year-old girl. There are some photos as the proofs. He treated me so lovingly at that time. Yeah, I was totally a spoiled brat. I was my daddy's little girl.

As I grew older, I din't know why my relationship with my father got distant. I didn't know since when his image in my eyes and my heart has turned. He used to be my hero, my shield when my mother scolded me, my genie who always granted my wishes, he was my everything. But now, I always eschew his presence. My used-to-be-hero has turned into a villain. I don't like to see his face, I don't like meeting his image in front of my very eyes. I shook my head and asked my mind to be back to the father-and-daughter scene. I envied that girl. How lucky she is to have such a loving father. Yeah, I always get jealous witnessing a girl receives much love from her father. That girl who always gets spoiled, that girl who is always taken care of, that girl who always gets protected, that girl who always gets loved, by her father. I miss my father.

Father, if only I could turn the time back to when we used to be close, I would be so glad. I would ask you to read me stories before I went to bed. You would kiss my forehead, cover me with a blanket, and turn my room's lamp off before going to your own room and meet mother like a father-and-daughter scene I see in movies. There would be many times I sneaked a lot to your bedroom and slept between you and mother, and all you could do was sighing and hugging me. We would do a grocery shopping together and you would look after me a lot since you didn't want any slightest things harm me. We would walk together hand in hand and take a public transportation. You would take me to school, accompany me to study while teaching me a lot stuffs, play together with me, buy me some toys, and make an alliance against mother when she got mad at us. You would make me a glass of milk every night since you stirred the milk better than mother did. We would watch football matches together and though we didn't support the same team, we would watch those matches in bliss. As I grew older, you would be protective in a cute way. You would protect me from all them bad guys. You wouldn't wanna see me cry. None didn't have the right to make your precious daughter cry. When I started to have a boyfriend, you would be really strict in a sweet way. You would wait for me to go home after dating anxiously in front of our house while folding your hands and when we arrived you would scold my boyfriend in a funny way for kidnapping your daughter for too damn long. We would still do the grocery shopping together though people would look at us weirdly because we looked like a couple more than a father and daughter since you always looked young, my handsome father. You would be crying out loud on my wedding and be so hesitated to hand me to my husband. You would be the sweetest and cutest father ever.

I chuckled, that was all only my imaginations. I opened my eyes and saw the girl was already sleeping in her father's arms. The father hummed her songs again and fixed some strands of hair on his daughter's face. I secretly talked to the father using the voice of my heart. "Sir, please don't be changed. Keep treating her with your love until she grows up into a woman. Keep protecting her, keep spoiling her, keep loving her. Don't be changed at all. Don't ruin her dreams. Don't ruin your perfect image in both her eyes and heart. Be the greatest father you can be for her." I got off from the bus and images of them will always be my sweet treasures.



Images via weheartit (1, 2, 3)

Our Own Little Utopia

Sun smiles calmly without producing burning heats to color the horizon
Wind blows softly not trying to mess our hair making the leaves dance instead, producing beautiful sounds
Pink roses blossom gracefully, yes the pink rose, our favorite flower
We walk on a green land hand in hand, under the blue sky with a nor too cheerful neither too pale design
You hold my hand so tight not wanting to lose any single moments
We smile, chuckle while being drowned in each other's eyes
We close our eyes and smell the fresh air coming from the wet road that was just bathed by the rain
The smell of wet dust, we love it
Birds chirp and fly elegantly in groups adding the splendor of the sky
What a scenery! I can look at you in shine
You awe me as always, I admire you under the sunset

We lay on waltzing grass, hand in hand still
We look up to the sky, deep, divide it into two parts using our stares
We talk about how our future would be, be nostalgic of our past, discuss our present
We talk about dreams, your dreams, my dreams, our dreams
We talk about the ways to turn those dreams real as real as our feelings towards each other
Our conversations flow harmoniously, they are filled with jokes and laughter, blissfully happy
You look at me, discovering myself
You trail your right fingers down my left cheek, caressing it
Scanning my imperfections, absorbing my good points
You draw circles on my face using the back of your right hand
Sending chills that linger on the root of my skin
You adore me for who I am
I'm shivered under your touches, not because they make me cold, they make my blood rush, swiftly
They make me crave for more
I'm addicted to them
I'm addicted to you

Both of us are infatuated one another starting in the midst of aurora
Keep continuing when the ray path of light distorts on the atmosphere
The circulation goes on, and on, and on
Nature supports our symphonies
We won't ever stop humming them here, in our own little utopia...



Image via weheartit