C

With you I inhale words that I have been exhaling. With you I connect phrases that I have been separating. With you I dance with sentences that I have been ignoring. With you I compose paragraphs that I have been cutting. With you  I build pages that I have been burning. With you I want to make a book that will be full of feelings, will contain moments, will be a series of elated memories. You help me to throw away those miserable papers I wrote before. You give me brand new sheets, clean and clear ones.

I want to type you with an aposthrope so that everyone knows you are a letter that was made only for me. I intend to write our story using commas to keep continuing it, using question marks to make my curiosities go wild, and using exclamations to express joy! How I love punctuations! But I don't want to use periods for I don't want us to end. Let me keep writing you, keep cherishing us. 

Your name, four consonants and two vowels. Oh C, you are my favorite letter, ever.

Déjà vu

Why do I feel like that we have met before we have the actual meeting? Why do I feel like I have been experiencing you all the time in the life I have been living? The moment you came, my heart literally was squeezed into juices. It aches but I am not sure why I'm used to it. It's so weird, a stranger like you could leave such a great effect on me like that.

Is it really your first time of invading my private space I always fail to protect? Did we know each other in the past? I feel so close with you though in fact we are distant. Why does the impression you give on me make me so uncomfortable? Like, it hurts but addictive. Like, you send me a whole new series of anomalies. Like, you whisper me some bittersweet lullabies. So bizarre.

I try to remember recalling the days, weeks, months, and years before present. I force my brain to work and do a time-lapse for recollecting memories, and you are already seen, already breathed, already lived in them. Oh, it's torturing. Am I being too much? Or traumatic? It's like I have a mental disorder towards you and I'm terribly scared.

Now finally I am sure about who you are. Your identity is revealed. You are my old friend, my familiar thing who always demands to be felt. Why do you don't have a heart to leave me happy? Why do you love to haunt me? Why don't you just let me alone? Shall I say another 'hello' eventhough a proper 'goodbye' had never been uttered since the last time you chewed the joy in me slowly? Are we meant to be? And here you are, striking all over again. You are the one and only, PAIN.

Ringan

Aku sudah bosan akan semu rayuan dan buaian kebohongan, lalu kamu seakan ahli membaca pikiran bawa kebahagiaan dengan beda pendekatan. Tidak, tidak perlu berlebihan karena sederhanamu selalu membuat manis seluruh harapan, rutin memancing senyuman-senyuman. Kamu melengkapi keseharian, kamu berlarian dalam ingatan. Dengan caramu, dalam ringan, aku jatuh sedalam-dalamnya dalam ringan.