If Tomorrow Never Comes

It's 3.13 AM right now and Ronan Keating's If Tomorrow Never Comes is playing on my playlist. Lol now is really not the right time to listen to it. Darkness, silence, and this song is a perfect combination to disturb my serene mind. Okay brain, it's time to think now, thank you very much Mr. Ronan.

Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She's lost in peaceful dreams

So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

And the thought crosses my mind

If I never wake up in the morning

Would she ever doubt the way I feel

About her in my heart

'Cause I've lost loved ones in my life

Who never knew how much I loved them

Now I live with the regret

That my true feelings for them never were revealed

So I made a promise to myself

To say each day how much she means to me

And avoid that circumstance

Where there's no second chance to tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she's my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face this world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love

Just what you're thinking of

If tomorrow never comes

The lyrics of the song make me wonder, what if tomorrow never comes for me and I never told people I love about how much I loved them. For your information, I am not a type of person who can express things easily, especially love. I can't say 'I love you' to the people I love, verbally. Really, I totally suck at speaking. I prefer to express my feelings and emotions through writing. I even never say 'I love you' to my mom though in fact she is the one I love the most in this world. I never hug her, kiss her, or do loving things a daughter should do. Contrarily, I often make her sad with my rude words and manners. Mom, please curse me, I really deserve it.

What if tomorrow never comes for me and my mom would be left alone not knowing how effing much I love her? She would be very very very sad, right? And also my father, my brother, my grandparents, my aunts, my uncles, and my cousins. They would be so sad too if I leave them without never informing them how big my love for them was, right? My friends, as well. They are always there for me but I never reveal my love to them. Would they be sad too if I'm no longer here and I never had the guts to simply say I love you to them? And him, the one I've been laying my heart on. Would he also be sad if I leave him clueless without finding out my real feeling for him was first?

I guess all of them would. Only a guessing though, I'm not so sure about it hehe. So tonight, I decided to give all aforementioned people my confessions in written forms. I will write them a poem, a letter, or whatever it will be called to express my true feelings for them. Yeah, I only will write it here hoping someday they would find out by themselves. Because it will be so awkward for me if I tell them how much I love them directly. Once again, I'm not a verbally-expressive person. Of course my mom wouldn't know about this blog, it would be either I tell her by myself in the future that I had wrote something for her here or if tomorrow really never comes for me, would you anyone who had read confessions I had made by that time do me a favor to tell her about it the day I'm gone? Thank you very much in advance! ^^

I will make those confessions as soon as possible because who knows, tomorrow might never come for me. It's 4.16 AM right now. It took much time for me to write it. I don't know how much time those confessions would take to be written.