2013: Self-Reviewing

I've been doing nothing in this year. I literally did something only in January when I was busy doing my thesis and did my thesis final examination. After that, nothing. I've been an useless person. I've been down, desperate, frustrated, insecure (till now) and a bit loony several times because I couldn't face all the obstacles came attacking me. March was the most beautiful time in this year when I had my graduation ceremony, the memories I had with my friends and family on March 19th, 2013 were captured and have got the most special place in my heart.

Why did I say 'I've done nothing in this year after graduating'? Because I've been jobless, so jobless in which both my body and mind have been stopping working for quite a long time. 11 months holiday since January! What a very long holiday I had! I regret it so much, why was I so confident? I thought after graduated I would get a job immediately. I thought I could start saving money for my future asap. Well, reality is more complicated than dreams, imaginations, plans and expectations. Experimentally proved. Why did I waste my times for uncertain things and reject the certain ones? Why was I so picky? Why was I so idealist? Why was I so arrogant? I know all the answers and let myself absorbing them to her deepest pores.

But, I have learnt many things in 2013. I learnt from failures by failures I have met. I learnt to not easily caving in. I learnt if I want to actualize all my dreams, zillions hardworks are needed. My wishes won't be granted just by casting spells. I learnt to not be egoistic and demanding because not all my requests can be fulfilled. I learnt to not cling onto others since in my hardest time, there were only God and my own self to help me. I learnt to be more independent in deciding things. I learnt to be wiser and more mature in dealing with problems. I learnt to be more patient and faithful because I know God surely will answer, God is always there beside me holding my hand in every step I take on this tangled way.

2014, I have to stop daydreaming all the time. I have to wake up, stand bold and be closer to God. What will happen in 2014 I can't predict it. I may have many resolutions but all depends on God whether He wants them to happen, not happen yet or not happen. The only thing I'm so sure is, I know I will have a blessed year ahead. So do you all. Happy New Year.

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