Decision-Making

"Many considerations are needed before deciding something. For who you are will be decided based on your decisions."

As we grow older, we have to decide everything in our life on our own. We are not kids anymore who only sit and wait calmly letting our parents do all the decisions, like choosing schools to attend, picking clothes to wear, selecting shoes to buy, and so on. Yeah, our parents have decided all things for us when we were little children, when we haven't known many things yet, when we haven't managed to explore how real life would be like yet, and when we haven't noticed all dirty little secrets of this world yet. But now, we are old enough, really really old enough to decide anything. Are your parents still control you in making decisions? Oh, that's sucks. My mom always lets me to decide anything on my own because she trusts me, she attends my will to be admitted as a mature person, and she understands I'm not a little girl anymore who has to listen all the time, sometimes I wanna be listened as well. She, of course, doesn't let me to think alone. She gives me suggestions often which sometimes are not that helpful. I don't care you would curse me as an ungrateful brat for having such understanding mother but still complaining, that's the truth though. 

How I wish my parents were still the ones who decided everything for my future since I think I'm completely stupid in deciding something. Moreover, my head is messed up with many thoughts which make my brain get sunk and can't think properly. Emotions control over my brain. Like, I dumped something sure for other unsure things. Like, regrets always came right after I decided something. I've ever heard a saying says, "Life needs bets, for you don't know what the results would be. Either it will be failures or successes, you have to try first." Hello, I already bet almost a year of my time this year, what was the result? Major failures!
How I wish someone from the future would use a time machine, ride it to come to me, and warn me whether the decision I've made is wrong or not. Like, that someone would say, "Don't choose A you would be screwed up! Don't choose B you would get nothing! Don't choose C you would disappoint many people! Choose D, that's the best answer for you and your loved ones!" LOL, life would be as easy as blinking eyes if things went like that.

Now, I have to face some multiple choices again. I wish these unknown choices could be done by counting the buttons of my shirt, like really. I wanna bet all uncertain things in my life by trying everything without losing anything which sounds impossible. If you wanna bet, you have to be ready to lose. Either you will lose your things, your money, your time, or even your self. I don't know, people keep saying "Be courageous, face anything waiting you ahead with no doubt and fear." I really wanna slap them people hard in their faces while telling them "Dude, talking is cheap, really really cheap. You have to go through what I've been going through first to know what insecurities feel like. You've been living in your comfortable mansion for too long so you don't know how complicated my journey is."

I'm afraid I would take the wrong way again. I'm scared I would decide a wrong thing in a minute that will ruin my life as a whole. Anxieties, insecurities, 'what-ifs', 'should-haves', and doubts are totally bothering me, they are so lethal, homicidal, suicidal, they even made me encounter a self-rejection. But, what else I could do? Nothing but deciding. Who else I could ask to decide something for my life? None but me. I have to be independent, I don't wanna cling on other people, I don't wanna betray my hopes I've been building all this time. I have to decide my own future since everything is up to me, not fate. Fate would have been written different if I was wise enough to decide. Yes, everything has to be decided calmly and wisely. I can't cross a chasm in just two or three effortless steps.

After dealing with many failures, I have learnt many things. Yeah, failures are painful yet useful. I decided to think

theoretically in deciding something which will help me do the reasoning process for any decisions I will take. I will use my empirical knowledge, likewise. Experiences are so valuable, they teach me many things that other people neither could learn nor understand if they never experienced the experiences by their own selves. My empirical knowledge will help me in considering my decision whether it will be good or not based on my previous decision-making and my prior ups and downs while battling with failures. Last but not least, I will ask God's guidance because He is the One and Only who knows what is the best for me. I hope the decision I'm going to make will be the wisest decision I've ever took.

Images via weheartit (1, 2, 3)