Merry Christmas

"Many people want to change the world. Many people want to change others. But only a few of people want to change themselves."

Above is this year Christmas' message. I think of it all over again to finally comprehend that myself is one of those people. Changing the world and changing others came to my mind frequently as if I was a saint people who was perfect, clean from any sins and didn't need to be changed. I was wrong, totally wrong.

Thanks God for coming to the world and be the Savior for us; the sinful people

You were born in simplicity teaching us to be modest for all we have are not ours, all come from You

You were born to purge our sins instructing us to sacrifice for others, to not putting ourselves on the very top of our lists

You lived only to be humiliated, to be tortured, to be crucified for nothing You've done wrong persuading us to have large-scale patience

I brood, I pray and I realized I'm so sinful

I don't know how to be grateful for all You've been giving to me

You simply ask me to come to You, to love others, to walk on Your path

Only those, but I haven't executed any

In contrast, I keep making sins by sins

I'm so ashamed, do I deserve being saved?

With all things I've done wrong, it seems like I'm having an intention to make You be crucified for the second time

I don't want to do that, God

I honestly don't want to

Forgive me, God

Do I still deserve another forgiveness? I can't recall how many times I've been forgiven

I always repeat my mistakes after trying to repent

Yeah, I never repent sincerely; I only plan it, haven't performed it properly yet

Forgive me, God. Forgive me..

I want to be changed

Change me, God

I want to be a better person for others, moreover for You, God; this is all I want

I want to be a new person just like a newborn baby

I want to change

I want to change myself under your guidance

Help me, God...